In January 2013, we began our journey to start a family. These 5 years have included several pregnancy losses, numerous months of waiting and unknowns, and multiple fertility treatments.
From our most recent IVF cycle, we are delighted to share that we will be expecting Baby Backes in early February 2018. So far, things are going well, and we certainly appreciate everyone’s thoughts and prayers. But of course, we are still cautious. The fear of a loss never goes away.
We know everyone’s experience is different, but we thought it was important for us to share our story, especially for those who have experienced infertility and pregnancy loss as well.
It can be a traumatizing and lonely experience, and it’s a topic that needs to be discussed more freely to encourage acceptance, strength, and healing. So if you are experiencing pregnancy loss or infertility, I encourage you to reach out and find someone, or something, to help guide you through it. I am a great listener and pen pal if anyone is interested.
There aren’t a lot of resources out there, and I wasn’t drawn to online support groups surrounding this topic. In fact, I was quite turned off from some popular pregnancy websites and apps for the way they treated miscarriage. In order to update your profile to reflect the recent changes, you had to “delete” the baby from your profile. If that’s not a slap in the face, I don’t know what is. I reached out to the companies, and I do believe they’ve updated some of their profile preferences since then, but I don’t actually know because I refuse to use them this time around.
As a result, though, I found that I preferred a more introverted route with personal one-on-one communication, reading, and listening to podcasts. And a good doctor that you can trust goes a long way. I would have been lost without the comfort and care from my OB and fertility doctors over the years. At one point we tried different doctors for a second opinion, but it turned out to be a total mismatch and we were miserable. So we went back to our original doctors and they have no idea what a positive impact they had on us throughout the process.
Your experience is your own. It is unique to your situation. No matter how short or long your journey has been, it does matter. It is shaping who you are, and who you will become. My experience changed me, and I know that I am not the same person I was 5 years ago. There were highs and lows (some rather extreme lows), but I am stronger now, and I am proud of who I have become and the direction I continue to grow in.
So thank you to everyone who provided us with love and support throughout the years, and I hope that anyone going through this can find what works for you to reflect on your experience to continue moving forward one step at a time. And I hope that you find peace, patience, and strength throughout the process.