48. Inner Peace: Embracing Non-Judgment And Self Love
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This episode explores the concept of letting go of the past and judgments that hold us back from living in the present moment. We’ll discuss how judgments and attachments to the past can prevent us from being fully present and mindful in our daily lives, and how releasing these judgments can lead to a greater sense of inner peace.
We’ll also share tips and techniques for letting go and finding acceptance with the people and relationships in our lives, as well as explore the benefits of living in a non-judgmental state. Whether you’re a seasoned mindfulness practitioner or new to the practice, this episode is sure to offer valuable insights and inspiration for living a more peaceful and present life.
Inner Peace: Focus
- Mantra: I forgive them for not following the same path as me. I will not let their mindset affect my mindset. We are different people on different missions in life.
- Mindful Action: Work to better understand when you are trying to be open-minded but judgments are presenting themselves and holding you back from moving forward.
- Quote Mention: Dr. Caroline Leaf, InstagramDid you know that the meditation from each episode is not being published on YouTube so you can more easily experience them? Check out my channel below and subscribe so you never miss a meditation!
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In mindfulness, some of the goals, and foundational pillars, are to be more open minded, more accepting, and less judgmental. So why the heck do we feel the opposite sometimes when we’re practicing it? Well, don’t worry, you’re not actually more judgmental, it’s just a result of the process of letting go and moving forward in your life. It’s all part of the self love and self awareness process. Let’s chat about this today and gain some insight into why this happens.
There’s this phenomenon that happens when you are going through a major life transformation, and this includes when you’re focusing on mindset and mindfulness, like we are. It’s the realization that the transformation actually leads us to become more impatient and intolerant with certain things in our lives. Things that we used to just be ok with and accept, but now it’s like a trigger for us. This can kind of make us feel unsure of our progress.
When practicing mindfulness and being present, it’s not uncommon for increased awareness to lead to heightened sensitivity. Which means that when mindfulness increases our self-awareness, it makes it easier to recognize patterns of thinking and old behaviors that you no longer wish to surround yourself with.
Another hidden symptom behind this increased sensitivity is that when we are less judgmental, we are more open to different perspectives and experiences, which makes it easier to see things from different angles. Which is great! That’s the goal! Yay us! However, this can also make it harder to tolerate certain behaviors or attitudes in others when they are acting from a narrow-minded judgmental state. A mindset that we’ve started to let go of already.
My best friend and I were talking about this concept a while ago. She’s actually the one who encouraged me to talk about this on the podcast! Because we had both just gotten done hanging out with different groups of people and we were catching up on it. We were both realizing that we had similar feelings of it being unsettling and exhausted because the other people just drained the energy from us. Like, we’re thinking, I’m supposed to be more open-minded right now, so why am I more frustrated with this person than I used to be? It doesn’t make sense! And so we got to talking about all of this stuff and breaking it all down. m
I’m reminded by a quote I saw on Instagram earlier this week by Dr. Caroline Leaf. I seriously just love how posts show up in my feed exactly when I need to see them.
She posted: It’s ok to feel sad when spending time with people you used to relate with at one time in your life, and realizing you don’t relate the same anymore, and not knowing who you relate to anymore. Allow yourself space to grieve. You will find it once again.
This unsettling feeling during your mindset transformation is not judgement or harsh feelings. It’s a sense of grief. It’s your mind, and your body, going through the process of letting go and moving on. Which makes sense that it would leave us a little bit confused.
You have begun to remove yourself from those situations, and when you’re thrown back into them, you lose your new sense of identity that you’ve worked so hard to build. And then you’re, like, second-guessing everything and are just sitting there thinking, who am I really? Am I this new person, or am I this old person? You don’t want to be gossiping about certain things anymore. You don’t want to be surrounding yourself with negativity and complaining. You don’t want to participate in conversations or activities that are harmful to your mental and physical health. And you realize that now.
That is HUGE! It’s actually something that should be celebrated! You’ve learned so much about yourself along the way that you’re able to identify those triggers before they happen. Unfortunately, usually most of those things come at us most frequently from meaningful relationships in our past.
You have been working so hard on yourself, and sometimes it feels like a punch in the gut when you realize the people that you love, or that you used to love and connect with aren’t in the same place as you anymore. This can be really tough.
To work through this, it’s important to remember that mindfulness is a tool, and like any tool, it can be used in a variety of ways. So how about, when you’re experiencing this discomfort next time, let’s also start to incorporate compassion and forgiveness right alongside everything else we’re already doing. Sharing compassion and forgiveness with those who are frustrating you will allow you to continue your journey of letting go of those triggers, instead of just harboring those tight frustrated feelings in your mind and your gut.
Just say to yourself in your mind, I forgive them for not following the same path as me. I will not let their mindset affect my mindset. We are different people on different missions in life. Forgiveness, gratitude, acceptance, compassion, and non-judgment. Putting those all together just seems like such a more joyous and beautiful way to live.
And that’s your mindful action for this week. Work to better understand when you are trying really hard to be open-minded and mindful in a situation and it’s not feeling easy. It doesn’t flow. It doesn’t feel like it’s working out. And then focus on that. Focus on whether you are, or are not being judgmental in the situation, it doesn’t really matter. What matters is how you can change your mindset around just by being aware of yourself, the situation, and your feelings around it. All it takes to completely change the trajectory of a situation is one altered thought.
Mindfulness is a powerful creator of self-awareness and growth, but it’s not always easy. You may come across some difficulties and uncomfortable feelings, but by being patient and kind with yourself, you will be able to work through them and find the peace and balance that you’re looking for.
If you’ve had some of these feelings recently about uncertainties along your journey, I welcome the opportunity to talk about it with you and help you work through it either on social media or in my Mindfulness Success Studio. Before we head into our meditation, listen to this quick message from me, about some of these next steps you can take to live a more mindful life. See ya in the meditation.
Meditation Script For Forgiveness and Letting Go
Mindfulness allows us to see beneath the surface of a person or a situation and to openly accept the moment as it is. It is an experience unlike any other in that we separate our opinions and emotions from what is happening, and we just let it be. We let it unfold in front of us.
I encourage you to accept this moment for what it is right now, and let go of any understanding or thoughts you have about meditation and to just experience it with me.
Begin by finding a quiet and comfortable place to sit. I will give you a moment to get settled.
Close your eyes and take a deep breath in through your nose, filling your lungs with air. Hold the breath for a moment, then exhale slowly through your mouth.
Repeat this deep breathing technique a few times, focusing on your breath and allowing your mind to clear.
As you continue to slow your breathing to your normal pace, bring to mind a person or situation that you have been holding judgment towards.
Notice any thoughts or feelings that arise as you think about this person or situation. Recognize that these judgments are just thoughts, and that they do not define the person or situation.
Judgment is a natural human tendency, and simply noticing when it is happening gives us the ability to more easily release it. Imagine the judgments and negative thoughts as a cloud that you are watching drift away.
Release them, and imagine them disappearing into the distance. When you release them, remind yourself of this: “I let go and forgive them for not following the same path as me. I will not let their mindset affect my mindset. We are different people n different mission in life”. And breathe deeply through that.
I let go and forgive them for not following the same path as me. I will not let their mindset affect my mindset. We are different people n different mission in life”. And breathe deeply through that. When you feel ready, open your eyes and take a moment to notice how you feel. Reconnect to this feeling any time you are gaining more self awareness that masks itself as judgment.
There’s this phenomenon that happens when you are going through a major life transformation, and this includes when you’re focusing on mindset and mindfulness, like we are. It’s the realization that the transformation actually leads us to become more impatient and intolerant with certain things in our lives. Things that we used to just be ok with and accept, but now it’s like a trigger for us. This can kind of make us feel unsure of our progress.
When practicing mindfulness and being present, it’s not uncommon for increased awareness to lead to heightened sensitivity. Which means that when mindfulness increases our self-awareness, it makes it easier to recognize patterns of thinking and old behaviors that you no longer wish to surround yourself with.
Another hidden symptom behind this increased sensitivity is that when we are less judgmental, we are more open to different perspectives and experiences, which makes it easier to see things from different angles. Which is great! That’s the goal! Yay us! However, this can also make it harder to tolerate certain behaviors or attitudes in others when they are acting from a narrow-minded judgmental state. A mindset that we’ve started to let go of already.
My best friend and I were talking about this concept a while ago. She’s actually the one who encouraged me to talk about this on the podcast! Because we had both just gotten done hanging out with different groups of people and we were catching up on it. We were both realizing that we had similar feelings of it being unsettling and exhausted because the other people just drained the energy from us. Like, we’re thinking, I’m supposed to be more open-minded right now, so why am I more frustrated with this person than I used to be? It doesn’t make sense! And so we got to talking about all of this stuff and breaking it all down. m
I’m reminded by a quote I saw on Instagram earlier this week by Dr. Caroline Leaf. I seriously just love how posts show up in my feed exactly when I need to see them.
She posted: It’s ok to feel sad when spending time with people you used to relate with at one time in your life, and realizing you don’t relate the same anymore, and not knowing who you relate to anymore. Allow yourself space to grieve. You will find it once again.
This unsettling feeling during your mindset transformation is not judgement or harsh feelings. It’s a sense of grief. It’s your mind, and your body, going through the process of letting go and moving on. Which makes sense that it would leave us a little bit confused.
You have begun to remove yourself from those situations, and when you’re thrown back into them, you lose your new sense of identity that you’ve worked so hard to build. And then you’re, like, second-guessing everything and are just sitting there thinking, who am I really? Am I this new person, or am I this old person? You don’t want to be gossiping about certain things anymore. You don’t want to be surrounding yourself with negativity and complaining. You don’t want to participate in conversations or activities that are harmful to your mental and physical health. And you realize that now.
That is HUGE! It’s actually something that should be celebrated! You’ve learned so much about yourself along the way that you’re able to identify those triggers before they happen. Unfortunately, usually most of those things come at us most frequently from meaningful relationships in our past.
You have been working so hard on yourself, and sometimes it feels like a punch in the gut when you realize the people that you love, or that you used to love and connect with aren’t in the same place as you anymore. This can be really tough.
To work through this, it’s important to remember that mindfulness is a tool, and like any tool, it can be used in a variety of ways. So how about, when you’re experiencing this discomfort next time, let’s also start to incorporate compassion and forgiveness right alongside everything else we’re already doing. Sharing compassion and forgiveness with those who are frustrating you will allow you to continue your journey of letting go of those triggers, instead of just harboring those tight frustrated feelings in your mind and your gut.
Just say to yourself in your mind, I forgive them for not following the same path as me. I will not let their mindset affect my mindset. We are different people on different missions in life. Forgiveness, gratitude, acceptance, compassion, and non-judgment. Putting those all together just seems like such a more joyous and beautiful way to live.
And that’s your mindful action for this week. Work to better understand when you are trying really hard to be open-minded and mindful in a situation and it’s not feeling easy. It doesn’t flow. It doesn’t feel like it’s working out. And then focus on that. Focus on whether you are, or are not being judgmental in the situation, it doesn’t really matter. What matters is how you can change your mindset around just by being aware of yourself, the situation, and your feelings around it. All it takes to completely change the trajectory of a situation is one altered thought.
Mindfulness is a powerful creator of self-awareness and growth, but it’s not always easy. You may come across some difficulties and uncomfortable feelings, but by being patient and kind with yourself, you will be able to work through them and find the peace and balance that you’re looking for.
If you’ve had some of these feelings recently about uncertainties along your journey, I welcome the opportunity to talk about it with you and help you work through it either on social media or in my Mindfulness Success Studio. Before we head into our meditation, listen to this quick message from me, about some of these next steps you can take to live a more mindful life. See ya in the meditation.
Meditation Script For Forgiveness and Letting Go
Mindfulness allows us to see beneath the surface of a person or a situation and to openly accept the moment as it is. It is an experience unlike any other in that we separate our opinions and emotions from what is happening, and we just let it be. We let it unfold in front of us.
I encourage you to accept this moment for what it is right now, and let go of any understanding or thoughts you have about meditation and to just experience it with me.
Begin by finding a quiet and comfortable place to sit. I will give you a moment to get settled.
Close your eyes and take a deep breath in through your nose, filling your lungs with air. Hold the breath for a moment, then exhale slowly through your mouth.
Repeat this deep breathing technique a few times, focusing on your breath and allowing your mind to clear.
As you continue to slow your breathing to your normal pace, bring to mind a person or situation that you have been holding judgment towards.
Notice any thoughts or feelings that arise as you think about this person or situation. Recognize that these judgments are just thoughts, and that they do not define the person or situation.
Judgment is a natural human tendency, and simply noticing when it is happening gives us the ability to more easily release it. Imagine the judgments and negative thoughts as a cloud that you are watching drift away.
Release them, and imagine them disappearing into the distance. When you release them, remind yourself of this: “I let go and forgive them for not following the same path as me. I will not let their mindset affect my mindset. We are different people n different mission in life”. And breathe deeply through that.
I let go and forgive them for not following the same path as me. I will not let their mindset affect my mindset. We are different people n different mission in life”. And breathe deeply through that. When you feel ready, open your eyes and take a moment to notice how you feel. Reconnect to this feeling any time you are gaining more self awareness that masks itself as judgment.
