How Avoiding your Feelings can Make Things Worse

photo of woman standing in front of wooden wall looking away

We had some housework and repairs to get done recently, bur I’m an introvert and enneagram 9 and HATE making phone calls and confronting others about their work. Shoutout to everyone else like me! I avoid making appointments that don’t have automated systems like the plague. Can we start saying we avoid it like Covid instead of the plague? Too soon? I feel like it’s too soon. đŸ˜¬

But, anyway, so I had to change some appointments around, and I was extremely tempted to just say I’d reschedule with the companies, and then just planned to ghost them. What harm is in that? They’re not hurting for my business, they’ll survive me not picking up my phone. I’m sure they have jobs lined up.

However, that feeling only lasted for a few moments. I knew that if I did that, future me would regret it when I had to deal with them later. Why on earth would I do that to myself? By pushing my feelings aside and ignoring the problem, I was literally creating more work, worry, and stress for myself just so I don’t have to give someone a “no”. So, instead, I got bold and texted them the truth that someone else was able to get the project done on a shorter timeline, but I appreciated their flexibility in working with us.

And let me tell you, that was SOOOO so so so much easier on me. I felt amazing and much more at peace the rest of the day. If I had trusted my old way of doing things to avoid confrontation, I’d still be stressed about how to handle the other plumbers later on.

So that’s what this weeks message is all about — noticing and feeling your emotions and how they affect what you do. That’s the amazingness of mindfulness! Mindfulness allowed me to devalue my trigger point and solve the problem within 2 minutes rather than 24 hours, and for that, I am so thankful.

How to use mindfulness to handle your emotions | bethbackes.com

I’m happy with myself for using mindfulness to tap into my feelings and notice what my default response was going to be. Because I took the time to do that, I was able to avoid a common stressor that I usually create for myself. Read that again. I was able to avoid a stressor that I usually create for myself. This was all an internal struggle, it had nothing to do with anyone else. It was purely my own perception of the situation.

So stop pushing your emotions away and pretend you’ll be better at dealing with it later. You won’t be. In fact, the worry about dealing with it in the future could eventually wear you down making matters worse. Feel your emotions. Deal with your emotions. And stop using procrastination as an excuse for avoiding how you feel.

Now, take a listen to the podcast and let’s talk about some other ways we can get in touch with our feelings and step out of the “this is how I’ve always done it” mentality.

About The Author

Beth Backes

I help introverts begin their mindfulness journey to a more confident life through daily intentions & gratitude. Embrace the amazingness you’ve always had within you and let yourself shine. Host of Mindful Actions Podcast.

You may also like...
%d bloggers like this: