Hello, hello! How are you? How are you feeling? How are you doing? I’d like to have a casual discussion this week, as if we were good friends sitting down for a coffee date. I think it would be helpful for us to just sit and chat today, get to know each other a little bit more, and to reflect on how things have been going.
So let’s start with you. If I were to ask you, what’s up? What’s going on, friend? What would you tell me? Close your eyes, pause, and just think about this for a few moments. How are YOU doing?
Self-Identity Reflection Question
Ok. so now let’s talk about that. When you are put on the spot to tell someone how you’re doing. Where does your mind automatically go? Is your first instinct to be real and tell it how it is? Do you sugar coat it? Do you tend to vent and get things off your chest? Or are you overly upbeat and optimistic? Think for another moment about what your first instinct tends to be when catching up with someone.
Set Yourself Up For Success
Alright, got it all ironed out? Now, let’s talk about how that makes you feel. Does it make you feel better to talk about what you wanted to bring up? Do you tend to send out the vibe that you need to receive in return? Or are you misleading others in discussions about yourself because it’s what you think they want to hear? Ugh. Talking about yourself can be hard! Right? All those thoughts about being judged. Thinking, am I saying the right things? Am I talking too much about myself? Do they even like me? It’s so stressful and causes us to not say what we want to say.
But, guess what, it doesn’t need to be. Becuase, yes, you guessed it. The magic word, as always on this blog, is MINDFULNESS! Mindfulness helps you ask yourself why. Why am I here? No, don’t worry, I’m not going to ask you to sit here and write your “why” statement, or a mission statement for yourself. Those get so repetitive and boring. Right? I’m telling you, if I have to attend another workshop where they tell us to write our why statement, which turns out to be some fake sentence similar to everyone else’s, written out of pressure to get it done before the group discussion, I’m soooo outta there!
Your “Why” Statement
“Why” statements are out. There it is. I said it. “Why” statements are out, but living your life as your true authentic self every single day is what it’s all about. Understand that life is isn’t going to be able to be written on a piece of paper in one sentence. You cannot summarize your life goals in one sentence!
Mindfulness takes time. Understanding who you are takes time, and, it shifts over time! So often, why statements are focused on external factors.
Therefore, your why statement is focused on your business, or your family, or life goals. Your why statements aren’t actually about YOU most of the time. Think about that for a second.
The Self-Discovery Journey
My why statement used to be something along the lines of “to be the happiest and healthiest I can be to live a long life to be here for my kids any my family”. That’s great. Obviously, I want that to be true. But that is so unspecific that I could basically manipulate any situation into pretending it was working towards that goal. It’s not focusing on me, it’s focusing on others. It’s making it sound like my existence is dependent on others. In reality, to make that happen, we have to focus on ourself. Looking inward is the how you make that happen.
This is one of the most important aspects of mindfulness. It is a self-discovery journey to better understand what you do, why you do it, and then using that knowledge to learn what you really need to focus on what you truly need. We don’t even know what those things are until we pause and stop living on autopilot.
Learn From Successes And Mistakes
So take advantage of these little moments in time to reflect on how you feel either before and/or after doing something. Going back to the topic from earlier, how many times have you left a gathering with friends or family and just felt totally let down. Like, you didn’t like what you talked about, or you aren’t proud of the way you presented yourself, or you entirely skipped over what you wanted to talk about so you didn’t really feel seen? That moment right there is a moment for reflection and self discovery. Why do you feel the way that you do from that interaction? Don’t just accept it and move on. Learn from it.
Stop letting it happen over and over again the same way because you’re not really paying attention to the way that it affects you. Learn from it and grow so it doesn’t happen the same way next time. Learn how to recognize and understand where your emotions are coming from and then adjust. THAT is your why. Learning about who you are and living your life.
How You Create Change In Your Life
That’s your mindful action for this week. Notice how you respond when someone says hey, how are you doing? Or, on the flip side, maybe that’s something you’re missing entirely in your life. Do you need someone to ask you how are you doing? Then identify how you want to respond, because that will give you true insight into your wants and needs to fulfill your life.
I do want to leave you with one other little thing to think about surrounding this, because Toxic, by Britney Spears, just came on my playlist as I was writing my show notes and it triggered another thought. Maybe it’s not you. Maybe it’s them. When I told you to sit down with someone and tell them how you’re doing. Maybe you sat down with the wrong person. Maybe you sat down with someone you feel the need to be fake around. Or maybe you were in a great mood but you sat down with someone who brings out the negativity and it burst your bubble. Once you learn about yourself, you can better identify how others affect you.
Thanks for reading! Let’s connect on LinkedIn and share our expertise and experiences! I’m all about learning from one another and what we have to give.
I am a seasoned branding strategist, SEO expert, and meditation teacher. I write about productivity, search engine optimization, digital branding, and mindfulness for personal and professional growth. Join the exclusive mindfulness SEO community with the newsletter by subscribing below!